Sex after pregnancy is one subject that brings up apprehension and sometimes even fear. There are concerns about pain, health complications, physical confidence, and the pressure to please your partner–not to mention the extreme exhaustion unique to new moms that makes it hard to get in the mood. Here are encouraging facts and tips from a mother’s point of view about sex after pregnancy. Learn everything you need to know about getting intimate after baby!
Sex After Pregnancy: FAQs, Answered
Understanding Your Body, Post-Pregnancy
Giving birth is a miracle in itself. For a human being to be born through you and for your body to endure it all, how can it not be? From the discomforts at the onset of pregnancy up to the perennial pain of labor, a woman’s body is amazing indeed. The whole ordeal can put a strain on every birthing individual, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
If you give birth vaginally and require an episiotomy, this will cause residual pain. Even with pain relievers, you can still experiences surges of pain. Postpartum, you tummy will be distended. Don’t worry, this will return to a regular abdominal shape as your muscles adjust to life post baby. Your breasts will be tender due to feeding, and may leak milk occasionally. Don’t worry, this is normal. Just be gentle during intimacy and communicate with your partner.
Giving birth through caesarean can lead to a tough recovery. The body endures more physical trauma during a caesarean and leads to discomfort where the incisions were made.The stitches in the incision will be painful and tend to itch. Many moms will agree, recovery takes much longer for a C-section.
All these result in reduced sexual desire or libido, besides the emotional and mental stress the whole new responsibility of being a mother brings you. Occasionally, postpartum depression remains after the baby blues have faded. So while having a baby is definitely a wonderful experience, it can take away from “that” other wonderful experience for the first month or so after birth.
FAQs About Sex After Pregnancy
How Soon Can I have Sex After Pregnancy?
Doctors will advise you to wait until after the bleeding or lochia has stopped. This is around 4 to 6 weeks. If you gave birth by caesarean, it may take longer than six weeks. Besides, sex will be the last thing on your mind the first few weeks after pregnancy. Your baby will definitely take up most of your waking time.
Why Don’t I Feel Like Having Sex?
It is common for many women to not feel up to it the first six weeks or so after giving birth. If it persists for almost a year or more, then you might want to explore deeper. Considering professional help is always a good idea. There are wonderful therapists that can help you through this phase. You may also want to try this kegel exercise trick first. It’s been reported to boost sex drive and aid in reaching orgasm easily.
Will My Vagina Go Back To Normal?
When you finally feel ready to have sex, you are most likely to worry about how your vagina looks and feels. Naturally, there will be changes after delivering a baby. Your vagina is a wonderfully resilient organ and will adjust to all of the amazing changes its experiencing. Sometimes postpartum, your vagina can feel dry, like there is extra room inside, and even sore. With kegel exercise, lubricant, and patience, your womb will gradually revert to a pre pregnancy state.
How Do I Deal With A Partner Who Wants Sex Sooner?
If your partner has been supportive along your birthing journey and is as informed as you are, then he’ll understand if you’re not ready and adjust to your body rhythm. So the real question here is, how will your husband help get you in the mood? Many moms might agree, doing their fair share of baby duties will. Nothing like a helpful, supportive, and sensitive partner to get you in the mood!
5 Best Sex Positions Post-Baby
Once your doctor gives you the green light and if you feel like your body is ready, any of these sex positions can help you ease back into the groove of intimacy. You can test the waters by re-exploring these positions.
This is the best position the first time after both vaginal and caesarean delivery. With your partner behind you, you can be better supported. This position allows for shallow penetration while you are still gauging your readiness.
2. Woman On Top
You will appreciate this position if you had caesarean. There will be no danger of pressure against your stitches. You can also set your own pace with this position.
For women who’ve had a vaginal delivery, this is the best to test your readiness. But it might not be the same for women who’ve had a caesarean. You don’t want your stitches rubbing against any surface.
4. Bed Edge
The rear entry position can be uncomfortable and too rigorous for women whether you had vaginal or caesarean delivery. Do this with the aid of your bed edge and take things slow. This way you can be better supported and relaxed.
5. More Play
If all these sex positions prove to be unhelpful and you’re still hurting, perhaps you haven’t fully recovered yet. Try getting intimate in other ways. You can still pleasure each other with simple touches and foreplay.
Sex After Birth Tips: Post-Baby Intimacy Self-Help
To sum it all up, here are some do’s and don’ts when having sex after pregnancy:
- Wait until after all the bleeding or lochia has stopped.
- Consider the appropriate sexual position for your method of childbirth.
- Avoid rigorous and strenuous sexual activity.
- Relax, take things slowly, and listen to your body.
- Use birth control methods because it’s still possible to get pregnant right after giving birth.
- Partners must share baby duties so no one is left feeling drained and exhausted all alone.
- Seek professional help for symptoms of severe depression, stress, and exhaustion.
Exploring each other after baby will be a new experience. Just take things slow and be open to each other’s needs. Having sex often also helps you recover faster. A lot of couples even report an improved sex life after pregnancy.
Watch this video from Rosie Pope for important guidelines about sex after pregnancy:
This time, you know what to expect when it comes to sex after pregnancy. Observe the do’s and don’ts when getting intimate after having a baby and always confer with a healthcare professional if you are unsure of anything.
Do you have any questions or experiences about sex after pregnancy? We’d love to hear your thoughts about it in the comments section below!